What Makes A Father

This is a letter I found online that will be for us this morning a theme about Father’s day.

I received a letter from a single mother who had raised a son who was about to become a dad. Since he had no recollection of his own father, her question to me was "What do I tell him a father does?"
When my dad died in my ninth year, I, too, was raised by my mother, giving rise to the same question, "What do fathers do?" As far as I could observe, they brought around the car when it rained so everyone else could stay dry.

They always took the family pictures, which is why they were never in them. They carved turkeys on Thanksgiving, kept the car gassed up, weren't afraid to go into the basement, mowed the lawn, and tightened the clothesline to keep it from sagging.

It wasn't until my husband and I had children that I was able to observe firsthand what a father contributed to a child's life. What did he do to deserve his children's respect? He rarely fed them, did anything about their sagging diapers, wiped their noses or fannies, played ball, or bonded with them under the hoods of their cars.
What did he do?

He threw them higher than his head until they were weak from laughter. He cast the deciding vote on the puppy debate. He listened more than he talked. He let them make mistakes. He allowed them to fall from their first two-wheeler without having a heart attack. He read a newspaper while they were trying to parallel park a car for the first time in preparation for their driving test.

If I had to tell someone's son what a father really does that is important, it would be that he shows up for the job in good times and bad times. He's a man who is constantly being observed by his children. They learn from him how to handle adversity, anger, disappointment and success.

He won't laugh at their dreams no matter how impossible they might seem. He will dig out at 1 a.m. when one of his children runs out of gas. He will make unpopular decisions and stand by them. When he is wrong and makes a mistake, he will admit it. He sets the tone for how family members treat one another, members of the opposite sex and people who are different than they are. By example, he can instill a desire to give something back to the community when its needs are greater than theirs.

But mostly, a good father involves himself in his kids' lives. The more responsibility he has for a child, the harder it is to walk out of his life.

A father has the potential to be a powerful force in the life of a child. Grab it! Maybe you'll get a greeting card for your efforts. Maybe not. But it's steady work. [1]

I have been married now for almost 9 years. I have been in ministry for 15 years now. Over my life I have grown in the things of God because of people living out this passage. The outline this morning is a mission statement for all believers. It is a must for real men of God to seek to live out as an example of what men are to be for their wife, children, relatives, friends, co-workers, community, etc…The outline jumps out from the text to grab our attention men. See God made us and he know how he wired our brains. Therefore, he made this passage easy to follow when Paul wrote it. If I could get all instructions like this I believe I would make far less mistakes. I would not say dumb things that get me in trouble. As we seek the God this morning celebrating Him as our heavenly Father may we learn what it means to be a father. For those this morning that may be single this is what it means to be a man. Ladies this is what you need to look for in a man. I ask that you apply those conditions to this message this morning.

In scripture we often come across strong language or warnings that require our attention. The world in which we live is a dangerous place and we need to be alert not only for ourselves but for our family. I shared a few weeks ago that I am having my first child. We are having a son. Like many of you, I too am scared to death about how I will be as a father and a protector to my child. I look to the scriptures for advice and guidance now more than every on how to be a real father to my child. It is a passage like 1 Peter 5:8 that speaks to me and all father’s to be alert, not just for our own spiritual well being, but for family, friends, community, etc…. How can we be alert? How can we be on our guard against the devil prowling around looking to devour us and our love ones?

Ephesians 6:18
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. 
We are to be men of prayer. Pray for our wife, children, co workers, leaders, etc… This is the first step in being alert. The second is like it we must live in a relationship with the Lord as an example to lead our families towards the great protector.
Psalm 25:21
May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope, LORD, is in you.
Men this morning are you living in a relationship with the Lord? Are you praying, seeking, and leading your family in the things of God? I say this because I already know that there will be a time when I will not be there to guide my wife and my family and they need to know how to live with integrity and holiness to have hope in the Lord to protect them from the devour that lurks in the world seeking to destroy our way of life.
Those men here this morning that are not married you need to get this right for this is how you do not repeat marriage again and again. You need to have a relationship with the Lord. You need to know how to pray and how to teach your family to pray. Single ladies you need to find a man that loves the Lord and seeks His kingdom first. For this kind of man, will protect you, he will be alert for those things that will destroy true love. You are looking for a man of integrity and uprightness for that will protect Him from the snares of this world.

Many fathers are the one who make the tough decisions for our family. It is from these tough decisions that we ourselves grow. But we do not make these decisions alone. We may remember our fathers and grandfathers before us or our mothers who raised us absent of a real man. Either way we need to learn how to make decisions based on the needs of our family. I am not talking about just the financial needs, career opportunities, investments, etc.. I am talking about how will you stand firm in the faith? Will you be a leader for your family by taking them to church? Will you teach them to hold to the scriptures as just a book of good moral conduct or will you teach them that this book is God’s inerrant infallible words of instructions on how to live in relationship with Him. See it is one thing to make a decision it is another to live out that decision. Which way do you guide your family?
Single men you need to learn to be confident in your faith. It is not just for Sunday. It is to be lived out as a badge of courage that you are a man of Godly character.
Single ladies, Let me ask you this morning are you looking for a man that does not know who he is as a person, is not confident in himself as a man? Does that sound attractive to you? We have a lot of boys in the world that call themselves men because they think that to be a man is to sleep around. But I will tell you this morning that no real lady desires a man who cannot stand firm to being committed to her.
If you are going to stand firm you must do so by standing firm to the things God has taught you. The character things your father and grandfathers taught you. Last you must stand firm to your commitments you have made to those around you. This is what makes a man.

When I read these words I was reminded again that this sounds simple. Act like men. How do men act? What is our purpose? How are we to act in a world that provides a definition that continues to destroy our very life?
Show I want to ask the ladies here this morning how should real men act?  

1 Peter 5:10
After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.
To be strong you must understand that it is the experiences in your life that help to make you a father. You will not become strong by not getting out into the world a learning from your mistakes and successes. The passage tells us that He will perfect, confirm, and strengthen and establish you. So what do we have to do to receive this? Be strong in our faith? Be strong as a spiritual leader in our family. Be strong as a husband. Be strong when we discipline our children. Be strong when the world attacks your faith. For when you do you will be perfect, confirmed, strengthen and establish as a father to you children and husband to your wife.

A Father is someone who like Christ loves his family like Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. So that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.
I close with this thought. A father is a real man of faith when he learns to place all of his needs aside and be there for his family. Be there to guide his family, Be there to teach, correct, instill, encourage, provide, protect, pray over, spiritual lead, and to worship the real heavenly father. For this is a father and I am thankful that God is calling me and giving me the chance to be one. 

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[1] http://www.sermonillustrations.com/a-z/f/fathers_day.htm Erma Bombeck  Field Enterprises.

Thoughts on James 3:1-12

¹ Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. ² We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.
³ When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. ⁴ Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. ⁵ Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. ⁶ The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
⁷ All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, ⁸ but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
⁹ With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. ¹⁰ Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. ¹¹ Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? ¹² My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

It takes a life time  to build one's character, but it only takes a minute to destroy it. I have served for 5 years now as an Army Chaplain. Over the five years I have encourage leaders to curb their language when speaking to a subordinates. I get the same response most of the time. What difference does it make how I speak to them as long as they do what I tell them to do? I ask them, is this how you would speak to your child, spouse, mother or father. Often I get: "Well they are not them chaplain, so I do not need to worry about how I speak to them." Their method as they say is to light a fire under them and get them to execute.

I have also heard the excuse that this is become apart of the Army culture. I wonder if steeling, abuse, murder, adultery, or even rape was soon recognized as part of the Army culture; How moral would our Army be? Second, how moral would our nation be? It is odd that when we allow things to become convenient for our sinful attitude just so we can feel okay with our actions or language, how close we are to complete chaos.   

The passage is clear that when we use poor language or boastful language to position ourselves over those around us, we will not produce a crop worth a harvest. The question is, how can we curse those whom we lead and then boast about our accomplishments we achieve from their work? If you want to lose your character then keep on doing what you are doing leaders. But if you want to build real character and lead with passion, then follow the example of Christ.

Praise those who lead with character. Help those who are stumbling. Go after those who are gone astray. Mentor your people to be people of control and respectful towards all. We cannot call ourselves professionals if we cannot speak without using fowl perverse speech. Those who call themselves leaders will be judged more strictly. This is an Army value of repect.

Pray with me: O Lord I am in need of your help. Control my tongue. Let no profane thing flow from my lips. Stop me from destroying the character you have establish in me. Guide my words so that I will not tare down another person. Make me humble with my accomplishments. Let the praise I lift to you be the praise I model to those whom I lead. Amen...